lupus and ABP

hi everyone!

i hope you're enjoying my favorite season of all: fall! There are few things I love more than crisp air, those October-blue skies, and the sudden burst of flame-colored leaves falling to the ground.

in all the autumnal glory, i thought i'd give an update. Back in February, I shared with you all (the few people who actually read this blog) that I have rheumatoid arthritis. Getting diagnosed with RA, almost a year ago, was pretty harsh news. At 24 years old, I thought my life was over.

but then, another bomb dropped.

lupus.

i have lupus. Before the numb fingers and toes, swollen achey joints, hair loss, fevers, and random rashes, I had absolutely no idea what lupus was. And now almost a year later, I feel like I've barely touched the surface of how deep this disease goes.

lupus is an autoimmune disease. It's not an STD, it's not contagious, and it's technically not going to kill me. Unlike some acquired diseases, lupus is essentially an overactive immune system. My body thinks that my tissues and organs are foreign bodies, and so it attacks them and damages them beyond repair. If anything, my immune system is an over-achiever in self-defense. A for effort, I guess.

my immune system cannot decipher between the good and bad. There's no difference between the flu, and my healthy working kidneys. To my immune system, my joints are the same as the common head cold. According to my body, my 20/20 vision is just as bad as strep throat. Every living bodily cell is bad when you have lupus.

the medications and doctors visits are endless. To date, I'm on 10 daily, maintenance medications. Twice a day. On average, I see three specialists a month (with the increased insurance copay). When I'm flaring up, you can usually throw in some Prednisone or steroid titration packs into the mix, just to get me over the hump. This doesn't include the vitamins, minerals, and other supplements I take. This last week I've been living with walking-pneumonia, bronchitis, and a sinus infection. That's 3 more medications I have to take, just to manage the annual seasonal yuck.

the planning is just as endless, too. I've had to learn to "plan for the unexpected". That fun day trip to the theme-park? Not gonna happen. The weeklong beach vacation with the boyfriend? I'll  be in bed half the time. That midterm? Hope I can make it up. Even just the process of daily living is too hard, sometimes.

you never know what you have until it's gone. Not just prolific lyrics or poetry lines.

after my chest x-rays and exams this week, I came home to my mom, who was eagerly awaiting what the doctors had to say. I turned the kettle on, pulled out some tea, and told her their prognosis.

and then i sobbed. I cried; hard, hot, intense, angry. I bawled. It was the kind of gasping cry; the kind that only comes out, deep down from the depths of your heart, from pure defeat and frustration.

"i can't remember the last time i wasn't sick," i told her. 

for the last year I've spent no more than 6 weeks without a flare up of my lupus, RA, or experiencing the common bug everyone's bound to catch. Yes, some of my flare ups are stress related. And yes, I can control some of my stress. But until you experience the stress you get from stressing about your illness, it's hard to give any sort of guidance or reprieve.

so don't tell me to relax and try to de-stress myself, because Lord knows I'm trying. Don't ask me about my protein. I can promise you I'm getting enough of it.Don't ask me if I'm taking my multi-vitamin, and insinuate that I'm under-nourishing myself.  Don't tell me it could be worse, when I am fully aware of the blessings I do have. And most importantly...

don't cry for me. I am the only one who gets to cry, because this is my life and my experience. . You can cry for me when I'm gone. I don't need tears. When I'm down in my deepest depths of pain, resentment, and frustration, the only thing I need is support.

so support me when i'm my at my worst. 

tell me i'm much stronger than i ever thought i could would be. Tell me I'm beautiful when my hair is falling out and I'm too weak to care for myself. Tell me some good news, when everything I've heard that day is everything less than bleak. Tell me I'm still mildly brilliant, when my lupus fog has clouded my brain so much that I can't articulate my thoughts and feelings.

tell me you love me, when I least deserve it. 

because your support and strength is the only thing i can count on. 

lupus research is in it's infancy. There are a few trials currently being conducted, in order to mange the disease. The key word is manage. The general consensus is that lupus is genetic; and being adopted only complicates the process. I'm open to any thoughts, ideas, or recommendations because... This is my life on the line. Again, lupus won't kill me. It'll probably be pneumonia, the flu, or something of the sort. But I'll be sticking around for the long term. Because as my mom once said...

"If you don't keep moving forward, then what's the point?"

a million thanks, and even more love. 

xoxo,

adrienne. 

RA and ABP.

my name is adrienne. and I have rheumatoid arthritis. 

over the last 8 months I've been struggling with constant pain in most of my joints. In hindsight, I've made the slow progression through levels of pain for the last 18 months, but the intensity peaked in August of 2015. The pain started in my pinkies in the fall/winter of 2014. At first I thought it was from constant txting (could be), and then I thought it was because of the constant cold (probably). The pain would come on early in the morning and late in the evening, so it wasn't enough to notice... in the beginning.

as the months progressed, and the weather warmed, my joint pain gradually increased. I was running around constantly with work, traveling with friends, and training for another half marathon. Again, I contributed the pinky pain to txting and being on the go. But then I started having pain in my toes. Somewhat naively, I thought I kept spraining my big toes in yoga (which I've totally done, multiple times). I thought my other toes ached from the 30-40mile training I was doing weekly. It didn't faze me for a while.

that was until the swelling set in. Towards the end of July and early part of August, my hands had ballooned. My finger pain had spread to all of my digitals, and the pain in my toes spread to my feet and ankles. But the swelling was the worst. My size 8.5 Asics were so tight that my circulation was being cut off. It too was painful to type on the key board. I couldn't wear any rings or watches. Opening jars and turning round door handles was almost impossible. Dicing and mincing veggies and herbs was out of the question. I broke 3 glasses in one week.

the pain, swelling, and inability to manage simple daily tasks wasn't what brought me into the doctor's office. It was my asthma. I was diagnosed with asthma when I was 14; up until that point I had had 5 years of controlled asthma under my belt, with the latter 2 living without the need for a daily corticosteroidal inhaler. All of a sudden, though, I couldn't breath. I was waking myself up wheezing and coughing every night, and couldn't run a half mile without needing my rescue inhaler. So straight to the pulmonologist I went. After explaining my breathing issues, and the physical exam, my physician asked me if I had any other aches and pains that needed to be addressed. I told him about my joint pain and swelling, and he ordered some blood work. Thank goodness he did.

about 5 days later, my doctor calls. He said my rheumatoid factor was double what it should be... for a 50 year old. He sent off my labs to my GP, who referred me to a rheumatologist.

after seeing the rheumatologist, and doing more blood work and x-rays, I finally had a concrete diagnosis. Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA for short). As soon as I was diagnosed, I was immediately started on RA protocol.

having a tangible, albeit unexpected, diagnosis to my months pain made me feel exponentially better. But I'd be lying to say I'm alright.

it sucks. It really sucks. Having RA at 25 years old, is almost soul crushing. I haven't been able to do so many of the things I love to do: run, bike, practice yoga, knit, ski, blog. These things that I love, my favorite things, make up so much of who I am. Not being able to do them has made me feel like I've lost so much of my identity. All because of this disease. I never know how I will feel, day to day. On my best days, I have deep but dampened pain in my fingers and toes. On my worst days, getting out of bed is too much.

seeing the glass half full is a constant struggle. RA is not a death sentence; it is not cancer, it is not paralyzing, it is not world-ending but... Being optimistic sometimes feels impossible. I'm my toughest critic and my biggest hater, so staying positive is a constant battle between my self, my reality, and acknowledging any silver lining.

the struggle has been real.

but there are so many things to be grateful and thankful for. 

first, my friends. They have let me whine, cry, scream, and yell my frustrations about my situation and diagnosis way past being blue in the face. They have called me from Florida, txted me from Chicago, wrote me from New Jersey, and visited me from down the street. They've made the time and effort to reach out and make sure I'm okay. I've said it before, but I have the best friends in the world. And for that, I'm thankful.

second, my coworkers. When you work in the medical field, your job is to take care of your patients. Never did I expect to be taken care of by my coworkers. Every day the techs, nurses, clinicians, and physicians check in on me to see how I'm doing. They always ask how I'm feeling, if I need help, and how they can help. If I can't lift a patient on my own, they're always there to help bear the weight. If I'm exhausted and feeling down, they're always there with a cup of tea and encouraging words. Having such a loving and caring work family makes all the difference when you're aching to the core. And for that, I'm grateful. 

third, and most importantly, my family. The amount of work my parents have put in to finding answers, accommodating, and encouraging me is insurmountable. They help in any and all ways they can; driving me to doctors appointments, making my bed in the morning, packing lunches, bringing me water to take my meds, giving me a little bit of extra love when I need it. Being a parent is the hardest job in the entire world, so the fact that they have gone over and beyond their basic duties is something I will forever be indebted to them for. And for that, I'm thankful.

the last year has been one of the hardest of my life. It has been full of pain, frustration, and questioning. It's bent my faith, and dulled my self-esteem.

but it hasn't broken me. I am far from broken.

my experience with rheumatoid arthritis has changed me. 

rheumatoid arthritis has made me patient.

rheumatoid arthritis has made me resilient.

rheumatoid arthritis has made me stronger than I ever could have been. 


and for that, I'm grateful. 


xoxo,

adrienne. 

the best (vegan) applesauce you've ever had.

one of the best perks about living in michigan: apple season!!

growing up, we had a few apple trees on our property. I can remember picking an apple to nosh on my way to school, making apple jam and butter with my Nana, and falling out of the branches one too many times.

but enough reminiscing.

one of my favorite things to make in the fall is homemade apple sauce. I can't eat raw apples anymore (God decided to bless me with a severe allergy to them, but we'll save that story for another day), so I get my apple fix via some good old sauce. 

this is probably one of my favorites. 

it's also gluten-free, vegan, and easy as pie (horrible, dad-level, pun intended).

here's what you need:

ingredients:

• a whole bunch of apples (fuji apples are my favorite), 3lbs oughtta do it. 
• 1 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp. powdered ginger
• 1/4 tsp. nutmeg
• 1/4 tsp. instant espresso
• 1 vanilla bean (curds)

supplies:

• crockpot
• knife
• fruit peeler
• cutting board

and here's what you do:

1. peel the apples, and then rinse them off with cold water. While you're peeling all of the apples, place the ones you've already peeled in a bowl of cold water. This helps them stay fresh and crisp.

2. core 'em, slice 'em, dice 'em. 

3. throw those bad boys into your crockpot, set on high. If you're lucky enough to use your parents' avocado green crockpot from 1970s, that's probably not up to                                                                                         code, use that one.

4. top your diced apples with the cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, instant espresso, and vanilla bean curds.

5. stir, cover, and wait while those apples cook down to soft mushy goodness. This usually takes about 4 hours. Don't forget to stir occasionally!
smash them if you want a chunkier sauce. If you want a smoother one, stick them in a blender and blend until smooth. 

6. if it's not sweet enough, add maple syrup to taste.

now put that deliciousness into some cute, hella basic mason jars and pat yourself on the back. You did it! Store them in your fridge, and pull them out when you need a good fix. Enjoy! 

get to cooking, my PSL friends.

xo,

adrienne.  

june run+workout playlist.

i haven't had to turn on the heat, i've cranked up the air, and i've been cruising with my windows down... Summer is upon us people!

here's a nice long june run+workout playlist for you.

as per usual, there's a little something for everyone in this one. You may even find a Disney song in there. Wink.

june run+workout playlist

23 songs, 1 hour, 20 minutes.

• i really like you, Carly Rae Jepsen
• somewhere to run, Krewella
• pound the alarm, Nicki Minaj
• crash and burn, Thomas Rhett
• don't it, Billy Currington
• i'll make a man out of you, Mulan
• classic, MKTO
• blame, Calvin Harris
• braveheart, Neon Jungle
• irresistible, Fall Out Boy
• headband, B.o.B
• numb/encore, Jay Z & Linkin Park
• shotgun, Yellow Claw
• hey mama, David Guetta
• where are ü now, Skrillex & Diplo
• somebody to you, The Vamps
• shut up and dance, WALK THE MOON
• this summer's gonna hurt like a mother fucker, Maroon 5
• bad blood (feat. kendrick lamar), Taylor Swift
• beautiful now, Zedd
• kick the dust up, Luke Bryan
• wake me up, Avicii

and as per usual, here's the 8tracks link to the playlist!

xo,

adrienne.

let's be realistic: 7th and 8th week of change.

hi, long time no talk! I know it has been a minute since my last post, but it's been crazy busy around these parts!

to be honest, i didn't want to write over the last two weeks. I had been in such a negative, dark place that I was worried it wasn't ever going to brighten up. Negativity can be incredibly insidious; it spreads like an infection, and can be chronic like a disease.

and that's not something I wanted to share.

luckily, i'm on a come up. I got to take some time off, go on a vacation, and hang out with my absolute best friend in the entire world. Before jetting off, everyone kept telling me how much I 'need this'. I didn't realize it at the time, but everyone was right. 100%. Without doubt or question. I needed it.

i wanted to keep this post short and sweet. Because of the funk I was in, I needed not to focus on my physical gains but more on my mental ones. You have to want and strive to be not even good, but okay. Being okay is manageable. Being okay is doable. Being okay is, bare minimum, what we need. And sometimes, that's the hardest thing you'll do.

so instead of discussing what I ate, how far I ran, or what muscles/weight I've gained/lost... I'll just leave you with some pictures.

enjoy!

xo,

adrienne.

dear mom: a letter to the most important woman in my life.

dear mom,

i know that it's a day late, and i know i could have said it in a card but... You are absolutely, unbelievably amazing. You are one of the strongest people I know. You are one of the most brilliant people I know. You are one of the hardest working people I know. And I respect that.

not only do i respect that, but I cherish that. I love that. I believe in that. Because all of "that", amongst your other boundless phenomenal qualities, you have shown me that "that" is what makes you amazing. It is what makes you, you.

your amazing, and endlessly capable qualities have shown me to stand back up. I have lived through (some) of your adversity. I have seen some of your most vulnerable moments. I have seen how you persevere in the most challenging moments of your life... and you have still, without question or scrutiny, have been able to be the best mother in the entire world. I have no idea how you do it but you have shown me to...

stand back up. To get back up when I've been knocked down... By my career, by my friendships, by my relationships, by myself. And,  most importantly, in the face of adversity.

you have taught me to question everything. Everything. To question not only what things are, why they are, and how they are but what I want, but why I want it. 

you have taught me how to forgive. And not just by the rude stranger who cut in front of me in line. But by the people who I love the most. The people who I have the utmost respect and reverence for. Because, as you have shown me, a life of anger and resentment is not a life worth living.

you have taught me how to support others. Especially those who need it most. I have seen you (countless days, weeks, months, years) sitting by your fading parents' sides. Through defeat and success. Holding on to their hands and hearts, and reassuring them, your daughters, and yourself that it is going to be alright.

you have taught me how to accept defeat. You have continued to hold your mother's hand, long after she has succumbed to the reality of Alzheimer's, though you continue to fight against it. And yet again I see you do it, with your father's hand in yours. But you still manage and look forward to visiting with Grandpa, in the last flicker of his life, when I cant, out of fear and naivety, see him and be present in the environment that he must endure. One day, I hope to do half of what you do, for Daddy and yourself. 

you have taught me that life goes on. In the honor and reputation of those incredible relatives who have past. You openheartedly share with me the life, hard work, and dedication of my grandmother, aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, and great grandparents. And you encourage me to honor their work, and exceed it in their name.

you have shown me what sacrifice truly is. You have shown me how sacrificing some of your life only improves, vastly, upon your child's. You have worked jobs that you probably did not like, and worked longer and harder at than you needed to, solely so that I could experience some of the things you didn't when you were my age.

lastly...

most importantly...

you have showed me how to love. How to love unyieldingly, unapologetically, and without regret. You have said no to me when I wanted, deeply, to hear yes. You have said yes to me when, perhaps, it was in my best judgement to hear no, all for the sake of a dream. You have showed me that chasing your dreams is the best love you can ever give yourself. You have proven to me, through action and word, that you can and will love someone regardless if you've given birth to them or not. You have shown me that love, true love, can never be negative and can only make you the best person you can ever dream to be.

you are my rock.

you are my soul.

you are my purpose.

and most importantly, I hope and pray every day that I can be half the mom to my kids that you have been to me.

happy mothers day.

love always,

adrienne. 

let's be realistic: 6th week of change.

finally, finally, spring is officially here in michigan. We haven't seen snow in about 2 weeks, and it was consistently sunny and warm over this past week. Praise the lord, hallelujah.

and with this weather comes with many positives, and a few negatives. Let's get the good out of the way: warm weather = long runs outside, and late nights around the bon fire.

now for the negatives: everything is covered in pollen, and me and pollen don't mix. I was one of those kids who never really got sick or had allergies when I was little. By the time I turned 14, though, I spent about 3 years in and out of doctors' offices and hospital rooms. My allergies kicked in when I was about 15, and they were off the charts. My body rejects most things foreign: all trees (except palm trees), all weeds, most grasses, soy, apples, pears, gluten, hops, cats, and many hearty herbs and flowers. On top of all that, I also have asthma.

so now with every plant/tree coming out of hibernation, my allergies and asthma have been off the charts. My life over the past 10 days has consisted of antihistamines, albuterol, and steroids.

my life, currently.

luckily, though, at 24 years of age I have a system figured out for this time of year. Clean, allergen-free eating; specifically timed medications; closed windows at night; no booze (except a glass of pinot noir, occassionally); and constant showering and laundry to get the pollen off my body. It's annoying, but not that bad and totally do-able! Even better, with this system of pills and treatments, I don't have to sacrifice my running!

pinot noir + popcorn on a saturday night. just call me olivia pope.

i've logged about 26 miles over the last week. I've run more than that weekly before, but I'm still so happy that I'm getting back into my running shape of seasons past. I managed to throw in  6, 7, and 8 mile runs over the weekend and I'm feeling amazing.

still running slow, but I'm finally back in the #25miles a week club.

those miles traveled have helped me clear my mind on a few things. Lately, I've felt like I've been putting in so much energy into my relationships. I feel like I've been clear with my needs and intentions, but I'm not receiving much in return.

and that sucks. 

i've been trying to focus on treating people the way I want to be treated, and making sure I give a little extra to my friendships. I've been focused on this for about 5 months now, but I feel like it hasn't been reciprocated. These solo miles I've put in on the pavement have helped me clear my mind and settle my thoughts on it: just because this effort hasn't been given back now, doesn't mean I'm completely off the good-karma train.

running, as i've said countless times before, makes me so much more level-headed. Things are clearer, I'm calmer, and it puts me in a much better place. If you haven't jumped on my run-wagon, you're missing out!

besides running, coloring books is my therapy. 

anyway, here's my week in review:

wet hair, baby abs poking through, and a messy room. sue me. 

fitness: 26ish miles ran, and some at home yoga #ftw
food: with my allergies in full swing, I've been doing pretty well. Recipes to come!
weight: I honestly haven't been keeping track, whoops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

cold brew + hemp milk = caffeine and 27g of protein! if you live in southeastern michigan, stop by DROUGHT. it's currently my new raw obsession. 

that's it! Not much more, not much less.

spring on, sprouts!

xo,

adrienne.

may run+workout playlist.

like i've said before, i get bored easily. Especially when it comes to my workout/run playlists.

and since we're on a way to warmer weather, I tried to keep it fun and light! There are some repeats from last month because, well, good music is good music. At least that's what I think!

Enjoy!

21 songs, 75 minutes.

may run+workout playlist.

• Geronimo, Sheppard
• Something New, Axwell ^ Ingrosso
• 1901, Phoenix
• Shut Up and Dance, WALK THE MOON
• Hey Mama, David Guetta
• Danza Kuduro, Don Omar 
• Uptown Funk, Mark Ronson
• Bitch Better Have My Money, Rihanna
• Sugar, Maroon 5
• I don't Fuck With You, Big Sean
• Bailando (Spanish Version), Enrique Iglesias
• Sun Daze, Florida Georgia LIne
• A Little Party Never Killed Nobody, Fergie, Q-Tip & GoodRock
• Style, Taylor Swift
• Best Love Song, T-Pain
• Irresistible, Fall Out Boy
• No Church in the Wild, Kanye West & JAY Z
• Beautiful Pain, Eminem
• Best Song Ever, One Direction
• This Is How We Roll, Florida Georgia Line
• 212, Azealia Banks

as per usual, here's a link to the playlist via 8tracks. 

run on, darlings.

xo,

adrienne. 

let's be realistic: 5th week of change.

hi, my name is adrienne and I ate a hotpocket. And it was good. Really good. So good that I almost didn't regret, with 100% of my being, eating it. Almost. I needed to be honest, but... i digress.

ann arbor murals: we named her gloria shakira maria del toro.

now that it's the 5th week of change, I can honestly say that I'm seeing some legitimate change. I obviously still have the some of the same terrible no good fatty  indulgent, 100% human tendencies when it comes to food. I also, though, have a lot of motivation to go try something new, and embrace the growing green gardens of the spring. I feel leaner; it takes far less energy to complete the hardest of tasks, and I greet the easiest ones with gusto.

this past week has been relatively good, all things considered. There were some major ups, and a couple of downs, but plenty of room for growth.

my childhood summed up in one picture: Dairy Deluxe.

for some reason, this past week was crazy stressful with my work. It was just one of those weeks where I started off slightly negative but with every day I ended up in a worse mood. I was in a bit of a funk. I've had a lot on my mind regarding grad school, my career, my relationships, my life. I've been worried about my best friends, and the trials life keeps putting them through. I've been worried about the girls I watch, and how badly I just want them to be okay. The funk I was in took over completely.

yes, i definitely rubbed the buddha belly.

so what did i do? I ran. I definitely pushed my body, 1 week post bed-ridden, harder than I should have. But the runs healed me. I didn't run fast at all (averaged a 10min mile). And I definitely didn't run far (averaged 3.5 miles per run). But I did it. I gave my body and mind exactly what I needed, when I needed it.

i gave myself a major time out. I had lost my presence in my own life. I had lost grip of my dreams, and set in to a stagnant pace. And that's something I hate. So I grabbed a latte, snagged my kindle, and headed out into nature to try to get back to where I needed to be.

everything i needed: sunshine, good reads, and fresh air. 

but what else did I need? A nice day trip to Ann Arbor.

an ann arbor favorite: Frita Batidos.

my classic feast: Frita Batido's chorizo burger w/ fries, and the hibiscus batido (milkshake).

ann arbor, my college town, is where I grew up. Though it was over the course of an undergrad bachelors degree, post-high-school and pre-adulthood, it was where I developed into the person I am today. Check it out if you ever get the chance.

hot guys, cold hand crafted drinks. 

and then the cutest couple you'll ever meet.

post ann arbor, there was some awesome meal prep for the upcoming week. I made some vegan, gluten-free kale falafel bites (the perfect on-the-go food) and a bomb ass natural, skinny margarita. Recipes coming soon!

the falafel mise en place. 

10g of protein, 100% vegan goodness.

because cooking is better with a good German riesling. 

and now, here's my week in review!

weight: stayed the same, but I'm starting to see my hip flexors again! Yay for gains!
food: besides the hotpocket and some pizza, I'd call it a good week.
physical activity: logged about 12 miles, and got in 3 nike training workouts

all-in-all, I'm looking forward to this upcoming week. It luckily won't be another 45 hour week of straight work, but it'll be a great week of working productivity.

shine bright, my diamonds. 

xo.

adrienne. 

let's be realistic: 3rd & 4th week of change.

it's been a week (or two) of setbacks. I'm currently writing here, stuck in bed, and recovering from one of the nastiest bouts of the stomach flu I've ever had. It started this past Tuesday; I woke up early to go for a run, powered through about 5 miles, and got my day started. But I was exhausted by the time 9:30pm came around. I went to bed, slept solidly through the night (which never happens), and woke up at 5:45am on Wednesday in a fog. I wasn't hungry (which NEVER happens for this foodie). Before 10am even hit, I was in desperate need for a nap.

the 6:30am hint of a beautiful sunrise.

obligatory post-run pano of my deserted town.

i napped for about an hour, and got back to work. I thought it was probably my allergies kicking my derrière, which is typical this time of year. But by 2pm, a full on full-head headache kicked in. And so did a sore throat. It was horrible, but I have been in worse pain, so I kept on keeping on. I decided to go to Pobbleton Park and play some catch, and hope a little bit of fresh diamond air would make me feel better.

hahaha, the level of wrong I was about that is incalculable. BIG MISTAKE. HUGE.

as soon as we had walked over there and tossed the ball about, eh, 4 times, I started to see the twinkling spots that come right before I pass out. So I sat down, took some deep breaths, and then tossed up everything from that day. Needless to say, I've never felt as sexy as I did in that moment **rolls eyes to the other side of the room**.

hammock + tea + netflix is the best way to mend on sunny day. 

and that's how I've been for the last few days. I'm on the mend, but I feel so weak. It's going to take a while to get back to where I was, physically. Which sucks.

yogi tea = the best tea for any/all occasions.

on the bright side, though, my body has kind of reset itself. I don't know about you, but after I've been really sick, my body only craves good things. It must be an evolution thing, but I crave things with high nutrients that (probably) heal my body from the inside out. Is anyone else like this?

drought raw apple + thieves juice. Picked this up at VegFest, and it definitely made me feel better!

with this re-set, i feel better than I have in that last month. I'm definitely feeling the need to get back in the kitchen and whip up some delicious nutritious goodies. Perks of being sick and unable to get out of bed: endless recipe pinning and blog stalking. Can't wait to share what I've found!

anyway, here are the last two weeks in review:

left: end of week 2; center, top right, bottom right: end of week 4. Pardon the awesome Michigan socks. 

weight: down 3lbs, but it's just from being sick

food: mostly gatorade, tea, and saltines. Bleh.

phsyical activity: pre-sick, I killed in running and getting some gym workouts. post-sick, can barely move.

i'm definitely starting to get stir-crazy, so I can't wait to get back out and get back at it!

also, don't forget to wash your hands. It's still cold & flu season, people!

xo,

adrienne.

lets be realistic: second week of change.

this past week has been all over the place. But really, ALL OVER THE PLACE. Between work (8am to 7pm most days), celebrating my Grandfather's 88th birthday, celebrating my friend Nicole's birthday, and meeting up with friends/spending the day in Ann Arbor I'm surprised I found time to just exist as myself.

lavendar-hazelnut latte from Eli's Tea Room. It was heaven. Also, ootd.  

the essence of this past week has been: GREAT FOOD. A Lavender-Hazelnut latte from Eli's Tea Room in Birmingham gave me life. 

88 years young, and still as handsome as ever.

Steak and birthday cake at Mitchell's Fish Market for my Grandad's special day.

honest moment: don't remember what I ordered at Ronin, but it was daaaaaayum good.

Delectable sushi with my handsome man candy at Ronin in Royal Oak. 

lettuce falafel wraps, and $5 fries for 8 people (even though there were only 2 of us) at Social in Birmingham.

Comforting falafel and mountainous fries with a bestie at Social in Birmingham, too. 

sun dried tomatoes, goat cheese, chicken, pasta. *stops typing to wipe drool from her mouth*

The chicken fusilli, an oldie and definitely a goodie, at Sava's in Ann Arbor made me reminiscent of the good old college years.  

paradise in a glass: State Street Iced Tea from Sava's in Ann Arbor.

Oh, and there was a cocktail in A2 too. 

breakfast for the day He had risen, and the day i stayed in bed until 10 am. 

and of course, Easter brunch in bed, brought to you by chef mama porter.

i told you it was a good week for food. One of my favorites as of late. But, as I said before, I am so amazed that I found time to take out for myself. I carved a few minutes/hours here and there, to get back to basics. Though my pallet was all over the place, my running was my one rock of the week.

it's so incredibly important to find your rock in life. And I don't mean a person; people can be fleeting, unlike, well, an actual rock. This rock gives you stability, an escape, and a bare-minimum purpose.

my rock is running. Over this past winter, I didn't make much consistent time to run as I would have liked (you live and you learn). Recently, though, I've made a conscious choice to make running my rock again. I've said this before, but running is the one thing that truly makes me feel human. It's natural, and it's good: Good for my body, good for my mind, good for my heart.

so now it's my second week of realistic change, I feel like I'm on the cusp of a habit. Running is my rock, and it's on it's way to being habitual again. Again, I didn't change what I've been eating. I did, however, change my mindset about how I've been eating. I'm just trying to be a bit more present and conscious about how/what I consume. Fairly simple in theory, slightly harder in practice.

here's my week in review:

weight:

• down 1lb... which is probably from me exhaling when the scale calculated, tbh. 

food:

• a bit better, but there were 5 bars, 2 birthdays, and one OPENING DAY so... sue me. 

physical activity:

• ran 14.39 miles

overall, I feel pretty good. Like I said,  I feel like I'm on the verge of starting something pretty good. All I have to is keep moving forward.

keeping swimming, my little fishies.

xo,

adrienne. 

let's be realistic: one week of change.

wanna lose 10 pounds in 1 week? Um, duh. Want to shed 20+ inches in 7 days? Without a doubt! Want to become a top model, coveted by top magazines, designers, and photogs? SIGN. ME. UP. Just let me do all that riding my unicorn, with $1billion in my pocket, dating Oscar winning Leonardo DiCaprio.

let's be realistic people. 

if you're like me and are a normal job juggling, tax paying, pleasure succumbing person, non of the above is realistic. In my last post, I declared that I am 'losing the wait.' I'm giving up the negative self-doubting and self-questioning, and picking up positive, balanced thinking, and healthy habits.

and realistically speaking, I wanted to share (amongst many, many other things) my health-centric journey with you. This isn't about losing weight (I'm well within my BMI), but it's about getting healthy, physically and mentally. It's about being the very best version of myself: healthy, honest, and strong, without denying myself the wonderful pleasures of this world (I'm looking at you, Pinot Noir).

so here is my journey of change, week one. I made sure to only change one thing in my routine: physical activity. Having coming out of the down season, and taking 3 weeks off from running due to injury (right foot, left knee, hips), I wasn't quite in my best running shape. But I laced up, stretched out, and pounded that frosted Michigan pavement.

i didn't change anything I ate. Don't get me wrong: there was salmon, smoothies, and salads. But there was also McDonalds, bagels/schmear, and a trip to Dunkin Donuts. What? I'm being honest, here!

it's been one week since I started my journey, so here's my week in review:

left: monday 23rd march 2015, right: monday 30th march 2015

physical activity: 

• ran 7.23 miles, over 2 days
• completed 1 fifteen-minute Nike Training ab workout

food:

• not my best. Can I just live?!

weight:

• starting weight: hahahahahahaha... nice try.
• current weight: down 5lbs. mostly water/margarita weight.

left: monday 23rd march 2015, with the newspaper to prove it. center: monday 30th march 2015. top: first week. bottom: newspaper of first week. 

i'm not going to lie: i actually feel a little better. Maybe it's physiological, but it's probably just psychological. Sharing this with everyone, and just having a plan has given me that nudge to get it right and get it tight.

live on, everyone!

xo,

adrienne.